Quarantine Thoughts #24: Travel

If there’s one thing I’m passionate about it would be traveling. I love love LOVE traveling. It has always been a passion of mine to go explore the world and experience new things as much I can. 2020 was going to be the year of travel until I had to hit the brake HARD because of coronavirus.

After the coronavirus pandemic ends, which is hopefully soon, people will be free to go anywhere. But in the back of my head this constant question keeps on gnawing at me.

“Will I, an Asian American girl, be able to travel anywhere safely now without getting any judgmental or hateful looks?”

I’ve seen all over the news about how people from other ethnic groups treat Asians all over the world. People making racist and xenophobic comments and harassing Asians and Asian-Americans. Just this past week, my father had to endure a xenophobic comment where a young male (I’m assuming non-Asian) cussed at my dad shouting at him “Stay home, motherfucker!”. My dad had his face mask on and he was just taking a short walk around the neighborhood minding his own business. Mind you, as long as you have a face mask on, you are allowed to take a quick walk around the neighborhood.

That person who made that comment had no right or authority to cuss at my father like that. It made me livid when my dad told me about the encounter. I wanted to hunt that man down and give him a good beating even though I would get hurt in the process. My dad is definitely not the type of person who would accept this kind of behavior and he also wanted to fight the young man. But he held it in as he’s not able to speak English and younger male was bigger than my dad.

Yes, I know the coronavirus originated from China but it is not a “Chinese virus”. I am disappointed that our president, a leader that we’re supposed to look up to and depend on during these trying times, said “Chinese virus”. He personified that virus like it was a Chinese person or with Chinese characteristics. Just that two words encouraged people to abuse Asian Americans and Asians in our country.

I know it is a sensitive time right now with many people losing their jobs and a lot of people dying. And I know how hard it is to not get angry. I’m trying my best not to get angry either. Angry at the Chinese government for not being transparent. Angry at the American government for not acting quickly. Angry of the situation I’m in. Angry that this is happening to me. But if I really think about it, is that anger going to help me? Is it going to make the situation any better? No, it just going to give me more stress and more anger.

I don’t know if I’m being selfish for posting up this text when a lot of people are dying right now. I’m not brushing off people who are really suffering right now. I really am praying for their recovery. I’m just scared right now and to be honest, crushed. Crushed that things might not be the same anymore.

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