About a few weeks ago, after this quarantine started, I began to walk around my neighborhood to get some of that good old vitamin D and just to relieve the suffocation of being stuck in the house for so long. At first, I started walking for exercising purposes but I think I’ve been slowly enjoying it. Before, I would just force myself to go outside just to get some exercise in but now I look forward to my daily walk because it gives me an opportunity to sort out my thoughts. Being at home just messes up my thinking sometimes and it gets a little depressing. Not only does taking a stroll gives me a time to organize my thoughts but it also gives me a chance to talk with Father God. No interruption such as the bed or food. Just me and Him.
Few nights ago, I was taking a dump at 3am in the morning and I was just sitting there thinking about life and other things. “What the hell did I eat today for me to take a dump 5 times?” “I wonder how my friends are doing.” “Man… I wanna travel so bad right now.” The thoughts went on and on and on. For me, random thoughts always lead to some pretty interesting ideas or revelations. And for some reason, I come up with great ideas while I’m on the toilet which is so weird but I ain’t complaining. So as I was sitting there doing my own business, my thoughts led me to quarantine and how crazy I was going because of this lockdown. And I’m not the only one who’s going crazy. A lot of people are doing weird things while being on lockdown like doing stupid pranks and dancing their life away on Tik Tok LOL. This all led to an AHA moment for me. What if I create an Instagram page that
It’s been very apparent for awhile now that racism and xenophobia against Asians are on the rise after this pandemic blew up. You see and hear stories of Asian Americans and Asians around the world getting harassed by non-Asians. Some are even being physically harassed like the two Asian girls in an Australian subway. When I watched the video, I was livid and my blood was boiling. If I was in that Asian girl’s shoe, I would’ve punched her smack dab in the face and knock her out cold. I’m not saying violence is the answer to everything but in these situations, it’s necessary for you to use force to protect yourself. Not only was I upset that the poor girl was being attacked, I was honestly dumbfounded why the girl didn’t fight back. She just continued to get beaten up and that made me unbelievably upset.
Worry Wart has been my middle name as long as I can remember. Not Yong Sun, but Worry Wart. Starting from 6th grade, I would have nervous breakdowns and my emotions were out of control. One moment I was laughing and the next I was crying. Was I bipolar? Maybe? I don’t know as I didn’t go to a therapist because one, I couldn’t afford one obviously since I was a kid but two, I didn’t even know what being bipolar was. What triggered my emotions was stress. And those stress was tied back to me worrying about the smallest inconveniences in my life. The smallest situations would activate and crank up my emotions to its full capacity. Tears would start to well up in my eyes and I would start wailing because of this one little thing that could honestly figure itself out in the end. But I didn’t know that at that time. To me, I thought it was going to be the end of the world.
During this quarantine, I realized how much waste I’m producing just by ordering online orders alone. I always knew my way of living wasn’t sustainable and great for the environment but I didn’t realize the severity of my unsustainable living until being in lockdown. I’m not going to lie but I’ve been ordering a ridiculous amount online and to be honest, most of them were impulse purchases. This is something I really need to learn on about managing my budget well but not only that, learn more about sustainable living.
As I was scrolling through Instagram on my bed at 3am in the morning, I came across a post from a pastor of a megachurch. I only saw few seconds of the clip but what he said really left an impression on my mind. He was talking about how people are saying this is the new normal in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. But he pointed out that the Lord spoke to him saying there is no such thing as normal. And that right there left a huge impression on me.
These days, I noticed that my room looks like a total dumpster. I have cardboard boxes and plastic wraps lying around everywhere because of my unhealthy habit of online shopping. Thanks to the quarantine, it only magnified the issue. I’m not even joking but I take out the trash everyday because I have that much trash inside my room. I seriously need some professional help lol. I’ve been researching on living a minimalistic lifestyle and checked out e-book called “The More of Less” by Joshua Becker. Hopefully, I can get some tips on how to downsize my belongings and have that “Less is More” concept literally tattooed in my heart and mind. I am so sick of impulse purchases and wasting my money. I’ll let you guys know how the book is and if the book was any help to me.
If there’s one thing I’m passionate about it would be traveling. I love love LOVE traveling. It has always been a passion of mine to go explore the world and experience new things as much I can. 2020 was going to be the year of travel until I had to hit the brake HARD because of coronavirus.
“Yea, my grandma is a prayer warrior. She prays for 5 hours everyday,” my friend said when we were discussing about praying. Well damn, I can’t even get past 2 minutes of praying before I get distracted by the dumbest things. The thought of me praying for 5 hours straight was unthinkable and I couldn’t imagine myself as a prayer warrior. Praying has always been a struggle of mine and I actively avoided it whenever I can.
A loser. A loser who has no idea what she wants to do in her life and is completely lost in a world where success and achievement is measured by how much money you make or if you settled down with “the one”. Unfortunately, I don’t have either so it’s really hard for me not to compare myself with those who have a steady job or those who have someone to lean on during hard times.